Fear in Art Tells You Where to Go Next

Greetings! A new month is upon us, and signs of spring are really coming in now. Spring is a time of putting ideas into motion for me. Laying the groundwork and sowing the seeds of what I want to grow that year. Literally, and metaphorically speaking. I do not make resolutions during the new year, and instead continue to use the colder months to reflect. Starting projects in spring feels a lot more natural to me, and I have found it helps me create healthier and sustainable progress. Why am I mentioning this? Well, I have a new illustration to tell you about and how fear led me to “planting the seed” of it.

Spring is here, with snowdrops and daffodils sprouting forth.

Art Fears and Art Blocks

Fear in the art practice is something that I have spent a lot of time with over the years, in many shapes and forms. It’s kind of an old friend at this point. Today though I am going to focus upon how I use it to identify where I actually want to go in art and how to then put that into action.

The concept of using art fears to know where to go next is something I first came across during a sketching course by Iain McCaig (he has worked on many things, but most people may know him as the designer of Darth Maul and Queen Amidala in Star Wars). Not much time was spent on the concept in the lecture, the mention of it was almost a passing comment. It stuck with me though, in the back of my mind. Over time and several periods of reflection and action it gradually grew and eventually clicked into place for me.

Sometimes when people talk about “art block” they refer to the inability to come up with ideas. I have never had a shortage of ideas, but that does not mean I have not come across roadblocks to creating. Art block is something I consider more of an umbrella term comprising many causes and effects. Different things come up for different people. The flow of ideas has ever been present to me. Where difficulties and blocks may occur happens afterwards.

How I Find the Fears

Sometimes these blocks and their causes are very obvious, especially once I started to notice them. The thoughts that pop up after an idea telling me I can’t do that idea yet because [enter reason here]. Funnily enough, those thoughts existing shine a practically direct light upon the fear they originate from.

Some blocks though are much less obvious, not being voiced by that little denier of ideas. Instead I have learnt to notice them through reflecting on long periods of what I have created and looking at what I didn’t do. The dream pictures and ideas that I avoided. By asking myself why I avoided them when they are something I want to do helps me find the originating fear.

I am not a perfect human, nor a perfect artist and as such I have to constantly check in with myself. A perfectly imperfect addition to my winter reflection time! There are various methods I use to check in with my art journey, self studying progress, and also those art fears. One that I have found very helpful is keeping a journal, alongside separate note-taking in my sketchbooks. Also being patient with myself! I give myself the whole of winter every year to slowly and gently do this. It is not a time of grinding out reflection in a hyper productive fashion. Nor is it devoid of still creating. I still paint, I still sketch, I still illustrate. I just take time to look at my creative past and present so I can then better prepare myself for where I want to go and what I want to do.

So sure I find the fear, but now what? Well, that’s a new direction for me to go. Let’s dive into my latest illustration project to show you what I mean.

I want to take a moment to say that I am only sharing my own experiences. Self help tools can be a wonderful way to navigate daily life, but if things are ever overwhelming or you ever need to seek help from others please do so.

My latest ink and watercolour illustration in-progress.

Actually Putting This Into Action

During this winter I came across an aspect of art I have been avoiding. One aspect that I want to do, one that shows up in my ideas and plans and projects. This aspect is placing my subject into an environment. Not just a loose indication of environment, but actually exploring and integrating the elements of the subject’s surroundings.

I have illustrations and comic projects that I want to pursue, yet at every opportunity last year I did not. Or if I did, it was not to the same degree that I dream of wanting to make them. Why didn’t I? I was afraid to. Why? That’s a little nosy of you! Just kidding, but there are some things to be shared through vulnerability and some things that should stay inside private journals.

So did I sit down over winter and write out a 2 year course curriculum of environment design? No, because that isn’t actually making the pictures I want to make. The studying is secondary and supportive to the creation of the images I want to make. In a weird way, hyper-focusing on studying can in and of itself be a mechanism of avoiding creating the pictures.

I am dedicating my first illustration project at the start of spring to pursuing what I have been avoiding. I have taken an illustration idea from last year hidden away in my sketchbooks, and I am actually making it. A thumbnail drawn in mint green fineliner of a mountain lion sleeping on a rocky outcrop in the forest. To really illustrate (hah) the point of this being about placing the subject in an environment I am working on 9 by 12 inch paper. The largest size I have ever done an ink-lined illustration.

Now I am not going to lie, doing this can be uncomfortable. I am essentially taking my fear, patting it on the head, and jumping into the very unknown it was warning against. How uncomfortable it may be and for how long is unknowable until it happens. Having methods in place to help me navigate and support me through what may come up has been and continues to be important.

During the inking process I have come across a few areas that I had to puzzle out. One being how I wanted to show the many layers of leaves within a flower covered shrub. These show me what I may lack be it in experience, knowledge, or skill. As with any project I am keeping note of them throughout the process, because these will in turn inform the areas of self study I need to explore next.

Despite the fears that can arise around art, the art itself gives me comfort. The process, the making, the pen to paper. All of that takes me away from everything else around it.

And with that, I will end today’s entry here. Happy drawing!